To not be in love
by IDontDance.Ever
Summary: Beth noticed a lot of things in the world around her. She especially noticed how four of the students in her English class seemed to be caught in a rather messy and complicated love square. GxDxCxT-REUPLOADED, no longer one huge freakin paragraph...


The first time I uploaded this, it came out in one huge paragraph. Lets hope it comes out better this time...

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><p>Beth noticed a lot of things in the world around her. She noticed how at certain times of the year, if she looked out of her bedroom window, she could see a cluster of butterflies fluttering around the apple tree. She noticed how her mother would always smile when John Bradley was presenting the evening news.<p>

She also noticed how four of the kids in her English class all seemed to be caught in a huge love web, while remaining completely oblivious. Gwen Smithton loved Duncan Woods, who loved Courtney Brodie, who loved Trent Davidson. The whole thing was completely messed up, yet incredibly intriguing. Beth watched the four revolve around each other with more attention than she gave the late night soaps her mother and her watched together.

It was a secret to no one that Gwen loved Duncan. Ever since the two of them got together at the end of the previous year, Gwen had barely left his side. The way she looked at him, with such adoration in her eyes, she was more in love with him than (Beth had seen) than Declan and Bridgette from Neighbours. More than once, Beth had seen Gwen secretly sketching Duncan in English, perfectly catching his facial expressions (normally grumpy) and his slump over the desk.

For her art assignment that year, Gwen had painted Duncan. In her painting, he had been standing on the edge of a hill that overlooked a whole town, while holding his skateboard at his side. The message of the painting (even though she told her art teacher it was about Duncan rising over the rest of the town) was about how someday, Duncan would escape the small town they all lived in, and would move away to a place where everyone could see how truly great he was-she felt he was misunderstood in their town.

Gwen hoped that someday she would move away with Duncan, just the two of them, living a life that was made for the two of them. She loved him so much, and she knew deep in her heart that she was the only one who truly understood him-it was so obvious to her that they belonged together forever. Beth watched Gwen every day in the art class they shared, feeling incredibly sorry for the gothic girl. Because, while Duncan liked Gwen a lot more than he liked a lot of other girls, he didn't love her like she loved him.

Duncan's heart instead belonged to Courtney, the preppy girl who sat one row in front, two to the left.

Every class, Beth noticed that he paid all his attention in English to Courtney, looking up every time she raised her hand, and a small smile creeping onto his face every time she opened her mouth, as if her voice was the only thing in this world that could bring him happiness.

Truth be told, Duncan had loved Courtney the second she had stepped into their first English class that year. He didn't know what it was about her (she wasn't exactly his type), but he loved every aspect of her, from the way that she would argue her point across to the class with a small scowl on her face, to the way she would tuck her hair behind her ears every few minutes. He imagined what it would be like to date her, to kiss her, to even just touch her. What it would be like to wake up every morning to her snuggling up to his side (in his head, she wasn't wearing many clothes). Duncan liked Gwen, he really did, but what he felt for her was nothing compared to the feelings he felt for Courtney.

In a woodwork class that Beth and Duncan shared, she caught him several times carving a skull instead of working on the assigned chair project. At one glance, she could see the initials DxC carved into the back of its head. She knew that even if Duncan gave it to her, Courtney would never proclaim his love back.

See, Courtney loved a certain musician who came into class every day with a guitar strung over his back. Beth had noticed Courtney was a hard-working student who always put her best foot forward, and always paid attention in class. It was because of this that at first, Beth couldn't believe that the CIT was occasionally diverting her attention away from the teacher, to sneak glances at Trent, who sat in the seat next to her.

Trent was everything Courtney was looking for in a guy-smart, funny, ambitious, not to mention good looking. The way his shaggy, black hair drooped over his deep green eyes, a jolt would go through her heart every time he pushed the locks away from his forehead. She always backed up his comments in class, in hope that he would notice her, and in turn, start to like her too. Courtney had their whole lives planned out to great detail-she wasn't class president for nothing. She and Trent would date for all of their high school years, and through their college years as well (the couple would be attending the same Ivy League school). Trent would propose to her when they reached their mid-twenties, the two would get married in a big-white-wedding six months later, and the honeymoon would be in Hawaii. Noah and Suzanne would be the names of their kids.

Deep down in her heart, Courtney knew this (well-planned) fantasy would not come true. Trent didn't love her like she did, and she felt like a fool for having these feelings that would obviously never reciprocate. Her mother had always told her to never fall for a boy who would not love her back, and that was exactly what Courtney had done. Some days, she was ashamed of what she felt.

Trent, Beth could easily see, was indeed not head over heels for Courtney, but Gwen, the ever so beautiful girl who sat all the way behind him. Beth noticed that Trent had been coming later and later to class, trying to catch a glimpse of the girl sitting in the back, before he had to face the other way for the remainder of the class. In the music class that Beth shared with Trent, she could tell that the song he composed for the class assignment (_Black-Haired Beauty_) was not about Trent's girlfriend Heather Lang, but about Gwen Smithton. The lyrics seemed to flow so much better for Gwen than they did for Heather, and even if no one else saw it, Beth most certainly did.

_Black-Haired Beauty_ was not the only song Trent had written for Gwen. An entire notebook of songs sat on Trent's desk in his bedroom, all dedicated to Gwen. One of them, _She'll Never Know_, was all about how much he loved Gwen, and how she would never feel the same way about him. He wished so much that it was him that she was secretly sketching in class, and kissing in the hallways. He wanted it to be her that he was singing songs to and going out to movies with, rather than Heather.

Beth knew that none of the dreams of her four classmates would come true. Duncan would dump Gwen, and be rejected by Courtney. Courtney, in turn, would be turned down by Trent, who would never be able to pluck up the courage to ask Gwen out. Instead of living the lives that they'd fantasised about with their dream partners, they would all marry different people and live different lives, trying to fool themselves that they were happier this way.

From years and years of watching soaps, and watching her mother go through a divorce with the father Bet hadn't laid eyes on for five years, she knew that love never really faded, or was forgotten.

Sitting in English, watching her four classmates sneak unwanted glances at each other, Beth realised just how lucky she was not to be in love.

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><p>I think sometimes that I am incapable of writing stories with happy endings...oh well, at least I can still write.<p>

R&R!


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